anneoftheisland | (no subject)

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in-game,
rayv

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Anne found that wandering the halls of the compound didn't suit her, and she had no home to go to at the moment, so she decided to put herself to use back in the IPD office again. In the aftermath of the hurricane and all of the missing people, after all, there was plenty of work to be done and rarely enough people to do it. It didn't help her think about Billy any less, or anyone else who was still missing, but at least it kept her busy.

She hadn't really thought through just who she might run into in the IPD office until it was already too late.

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With Benny gone, Ray didn't really know where to be outside of the IPD office. Dief was out with Kowalski or Horatio or whoever was looking for the mountie at the moment. But in the cop's opinion, if Fraser was still on the island, Fraser would find his way back.

He rubbed his forehead when Anne walked in. He hadn't really seen her since... Well, it was better not to think about it. "Hey."

Anne was blushing before she could even form a sentence. "Hi, Ray," she said softly, pausing just inside the doorway. But Anne had faced a hurricane and a mountain and she would have faced the dinosaurs if she'd had to, so surely she could face up to this. "I was... I wrote you a letter, but... I was wondering if anyone needed any help."

"Well, there's huts to build and people to find but..." he shrugged. "Most people have come back and there's plenty of people building outside as we speak. You wrote me a letter?"

Anne nodded her head and didn't quite meet his eyes. "Well, I couldn't imagine how I was ever going to be able to speak to you again," she confessed, "though with everything that's happened between then and now, well, it seems a little bit silly. Billy assured me that you would forgive me but I suppose I was inconsolable at the time."

"...well, it's...you know...fine," Ray said with a small frown. "So...yeah."

"Oh Ray," said Anne, "please tell me you don't think any worse of me. I won't ask that you not think any differently of me for I know that it's entirely too late for that, but I couldn't bear it if you thought worse of me for what I did, even if I deserve it."

Ray wanted to point out that he hadn't told her much of anything yet. He cleared his throat and drummed his fingers on the desk for a minute. "Uh, well, it's fine. You're sorry and I'm sorry and if you take drugs again, I'll shoot Mamet. Problem solved."

"Oh no, you mustn't blame John, I take full responsibility for my decision," insisted Anne, though still she couldn't meet his eyes for fear of what she might see there. "I was trying to find an easy way to endure what I was feeling and really, I should have known there wasn't one, even though it sounded so nice. Poor John has enough troubles without me causing more for him."

God why was she still wanting to talk about this? This was such a men are from a sensible planet and women are all kinda crazy moment. "Then it's fine. And you're sorry and I'm sorry and it won't happen again?"

"Oh, I do hope it never does," said Anne, though she found it difficult to promise that, as she'd found it just as difficult to promise the same thing to Billy. "Though I admit the chances of me doing anything quite so rash would dimish if only Billy would be found. I did try to find him when I went off into the mountain, but I'm afraid that I failed."

Not cool. Ray wanted a promise or at least an oath of some kind. He knew she was just a kid but still...

"...yeah well drugs don't really solve missing persons cases, Anne Shirley. And you better swear you're done with them because they're dangerous and bad."

Anne bit her lip and then nodded her head. "I know that's all true," she said, "and I want to promise you, you have no idea how much I want to promise you, but it was so terribly easy the first time and I don't want to make any promises that I won't be able to keep, Ray. Oh, I do wish you hadn't asked me for now you'll surely think the worse of me for it. But I'd rather that than lie."

"....for crying outloud," he muttered.

"I can promise you that I'll try?" Anne offered him. "And that at least will be the honest truth because I will try and I believe that I will succeed, but I can't promise it. Billy told me the same thing, you know, that I must promise not to do it again, though I think it is terribly unfair that he expects me to do things that he won't do himself."

Ray came close to banging his head on the desk. "Maybe Billy's just trying to protect you, huh? But okay, promise me you'll try not to and I'll have to accept that as something at least."

"It's the only promise I can truthfully make," said Anne, finally lifting her eyes to meet his. If she could say such a thing, then surely, surely, she could face him. "And I believe that if Billy can protect me, then I can attempt to protect him as well. I'll always try to make the right choices, Ray, I'm just not sure that I'll always succeed."

Ray just scowled. "Just great." He didn't see why it was so hard to say no to drugs.

Anne's eyes fell again. "Please don't be angry with me, Ray," she said. "I don't know how I'll bear it if you're angry with me."

"I'm angry with the whole island at the moment," Ray informed her. "And I'm not sure how to not be angry about drugs. I'm a cop, Anne."

"Admitting to you that I'm not sure I'm strong enough to resist is not the same thing as telling you that I'm going to take drugs, though," she said softly. "I've been very unhappy, Ray. Oh, now that I'm not feeling so low it would be easy to say that I'll never do it again, for right now I believe that, but I also remember how I did feel. It seems to me that it's easy to make bad choices when you're unhappy."

"But that doesn't make it okay," Ray protested. "I mean, I forgive you and I believe you don't mean to do drugs again, but..." He wasn't sure was he was allowed to say. He wasn't really her brother and he certainly wasn't her father.

"Well of course it's not okay," said Anne, looking up at him again with wide eyes. "Oh, Ray, I didn't mean to say that it was okay. I think it would be a terrible thing if I succumbed again, especially now that it wouldn't be accidental."

"so...excercise some self-control and never do it again?" Ray suggested with a slight hint of disapproval in his tone. He knew it was hard but honestly he didn't see the appeal of acting like an idiot when stoned.

Anne knew that Ray couldn't understand what she was telling him the way that Billy had understood, but she wasn't sorry she'd said anything. Ray cared for her and he would look out for her, even when he was angry, even when they were both terribly embarrassed.

"That's what I will endeavour to do," she said firmly. "Oh Ray, I'm very happy to be talking to you again. I've missed you."

"Okay," he muttered, leaning back in the office chair and trying not to scowl. God, he hated his life sometimes. "I missed you too."

Anne was finally able to smile at him. "Thank you, Ray," she said. "We should do something together some time soon, when everything is... back to normal. Something fun."

"Don't sweat it," Ray said with a sigh. "You're welcome and sure. We can go fishing or something."

"I would like that a great deal, Ray," said Anne. "It would mean a lot to me. Now... is there anything I can assist you with today? It's not my assigned day to the IPD, but I would very much like something to do."

"Not unless Benny's living in a cave that I've managed to overlook," Ray said glumly. "Er, Fraser, I mean."

"I still hope daily for Constable Fraser's safe return," said Anne, sharing his morose look. "Though I have decided, for the sake of my heart, that if there is anyone who could survive this jungle on his own, it's Constable Fraser."

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